It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and I was sitting with him, re-watching episodes of ‘Friends’, sipping a cup of coffee when I received a text from her, “Do you know any good brands of lipstick and eyeliner?”, “sure, I know a lot of them,” I said and listed her all my favorite brands which I use frequently. After which she sent me a picture of her with no makeup, not even kajal or a tint of lipstick and asked, “What can I do to look better?” “What do you do to keep your hair gorgeous and your skin so glowing?” I must have been flattered to listen to this but instead, I felt the insecurity hidden within her.
No, she was not just another girl, looking for attention by wearing makeup (as you may say), she was a housewife who wanted to look good so that her husband may like her. Why? Because her husband won’t spend time with her, because he was too embarrassed by her “average looks” or “not so pretty” face (according to him).
What I thought of a simple text, turned into a heartwrenching conversation for me where she went on to tell me how she was suffering since the time she got married, almost a year ago. She didn’t choose to be a housewife, but forced to by her husband, who in turn was forced by his parents to “keep his wife under control”.
“He won’t spend half an hour with me. In the past one year, he hasn’t taken me out for an ice cream. He would leave early and come back late at night after work. I feel like a prisoner in the walls of this big bungalow. This is not how I expected my marriage to be”. She held a degree in computer science engineering and had a great job before her marriage was “arranged” by the parents.
“My husband would tell me about his female friends who are doing great in their life but won’t allow his own wife to show her talent through work. The only expectation they have from is to cook, respect her everyone whether they respect me or not, say yes to whatever my husband says and understand every logic they give, despite how illogical it is.” I felt helpless and disappointed at the same time. Had it been the case with me, I would have left the marriage long before but she had a hope that things would get better and her husband may finally see beyond her appearance.
I’m sharing this because it’s not just her who’s stuck in such kind of situation but many women in this country who despite their educational qualification and talent have to compromise their happiness and aspirations after marriage. And if they stand for themselves, they are termed as selfish. To have the ideal image of women as created by the society, they succumb to the pressure of male chauvinists who fulfill their ego by suppressing their wives and the parents who think they’re doing a favor to the woman and her family by marrying her with their son.
As a fashion blogger, I talk about makeup, clothing, and stuff but it is only a matter of choice and not supposed to make anyone feel bad about their appearance. Do it if it makes you happy. Should I blame her for not being the perfect fashionista? Not knowing how to wear an eyeliner or lipstick? Nope. Because it’s her husband’s responsibility to never make her wife insecure and instead make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
This post is dedicated to a wonderful woman, who’s beautiful inside and out. Hope you find a way out of this and discover happiness!